I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
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