OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
