Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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