david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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