Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
