why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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