He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
