she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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