Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
