I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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