Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
