So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
pray to the hookup gods
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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