So drunk its hurt
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
