I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
4 words: hood of his car
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
