please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
