Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
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We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
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I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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