i'm signing you up for texting rehab
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
