what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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