I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I could make wine with my vomit
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
