with your own penis?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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