I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
