I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
