My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
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