Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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