so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
