He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
