erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
