this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
