you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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