Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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