it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
