I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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