You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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