yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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