so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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