Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
