so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
