How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
