If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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