I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
