Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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