Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
