Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
