just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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