Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
porn star boner night. come get it.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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