she was so not down for the gang bang
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
