This girl is more easily done than said...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
