last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
