Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
