Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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