i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
