I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
