The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
