You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
home. puking in laundry basket.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
