whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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