I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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