That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
This girl is more easily done than said...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
