Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just saw a hot homeless man
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
