At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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